John McCain found to have ties with Child-molesting Ninja clan

As you can see, McCain is involved with the wrong people.

(AP)Following the shocking discovery that Sarah Palin is an evil space alien, there has been evidence that was uncovered that suggests that John McCain is part of a vicious Ninja group that engages in mass child molestation. Pictures like the one shown with this article have popped up everywhere, and as crappy as they are, the evidence is undeniable. In fact, there is much speculation now that much of McCain’s “foreign policy experience” has consisted of secret meetings with this foreign ninja clan in their attempt to kidnap young children for there own purposes of pleasure.

McCain is supposedly working with evil warlord Tokugawa around the world in attempts to locate poor families, orphan children, and other easy targets for the purposes of their operation. Once a target is identified, ninjas are sent in to kill all relatives, friends, and anyone who try to oppose their agenda before confiscating the young child. It has been rumored that McCain himself is a veteran of such activities having killed over 300 innocient victims in combat with a Katana blade. He is also accused of having ninja skills such as sticking to walls and walking on water. Furthermore, there has been evidence that McCain can even use “ninja magic” such as suddenly disappearing and appearing out of nowhere. Most investigators are refusing to accept this investigation because of fear of being killed by a ninja. However, a few brave souls are working around the clock to convict McCain of these charges. I hear that the team sent from Daily Kos is working especially hard on this case. If they are successful and are not killed by ninjas in the process, this would ensure Barack Obama the whitehouse, unless he is found to be an evil space alien like Sarah Palin.